The Victor diaries - 73 accounts from the Hunger Games
by Anime'sPrincess
Summary: This is a one shot series of short diary enteries from the 73 winners of the previous Hunger Games. We know all about Katniss and Peeta but how did the other victors feel? What was victory really like? Will include the victors we know about from Catching Fire etc. Rated T as it is the Hunger Games
1. Maisey , Victor of the 1st Games

**Maisey Sharin, District Nine, Victor of the 1****st**** Games **

I may be getting old but I remember it as though it were yesterday. It is not far away and all I must do is close my eyes and I can picture it. I, Maisey Sharin am a Hunger Games survivor, the first to be exact. But I am no hero and I am nothing special. It was the first of what would be many and I was the lone survivor. I will be forever remembered as that prestigious first victor and that hurts.  
I do not want to remember. I do not want to remember their faces and their screams.  
I was the quiet girl from the lowly grain District.  
I wanted to live.  
I wanted to succeed.  
I wanted to win.  
I wanted to be the Victor.  
I am nothing but a monster, a cold hearted killer and that is not something I ever wanted.  
I wanted too much.  
I did what they wanted and that is why the first Hunger Games will always be remembered.  
It was a year filled with confusion, it felt like a surreal nightmare to the others. It was the birth of the Hunger Games and no one knew what to expect. We went in to it blind and afraid and I was the first to make a move towards victor. I had the first and last kill. I regret it more than anything else. Maybe that first Games could have been the death instead of the birth. The others were reluctant and scared. Maybe we could have done something then to show them it was wrong. We could have stopped it, once and for all. The guilt will rest on my slumped shoulders forever. I started this curse when I picked up that sickle and showed them all that I was a player in their Games. The Capitol created these Games but I showed the way.  
I do not feel like a victim. I feel like a machine, a monster.  
What if I hadn't made those choices?  
What if...

**This is the first in a series of one shots I decided to do. I hope you enjoy it and will leave your thoughts in a review. I will do one entry for each victor including those we hear about in the novels. **


	2. Mila , Victor of the 2nd Games

Mila Cameron District Seven, Victor, 2nd Hunger Games

Dear Diary,

Four years today since my victory. District Seven has sent yet another two children to their deaths. I am just thankful that I have been relieved of mentoring duties this year. I do not need two more names; two more faces to add to my long list. You see I just can't help it. Every night has been the same since. I still need to recite their names over and over again before I can let myself rest.

_Lillian Spirith, District 9. The Game's only 12 year old that year. She liked the strawberries in the Capitol. Something she had never tasted before her nightmare. _

They always tell you the same thing, the victors. They speak of the nightmares and the faces of those who were so brutally murdered from their own Games and I tell you it is the truth. I am nothing but a broken shell of the girl I was before that fateful reaping now four years later but I remember. It's funny how remembering them is the only thing that keeps me sane yet it hurts so much. I figure that if I cannot just forget the whole ordeal and slip to be a sweet, unknowing oblivion then it is best to keep the right memories alive. Not of that treacherous, chillingly cold arena, not of the bloody murders and the tragic natural caused deaths but of them, the fallen children of those second Hunger Games.

_Hunter Clairins, District 10. A worthy and kind ally, he died in my arms. He kept me laughing through that dark despair and died with that rueful smile upon his face, the same smile he wore when I first met him._

It's how I close my eyes at night without fear. I remind myself night after night and day after day that they are the lucky ones because they are gone and they are safe. Their bodies were taken home from that mist filled forest but I never left. I keep their memory alive in my heart as a way of honouring their lost youth.

_Serena Hart, District 1. Her piercing blue eyes are not far away, I need only close my own dull grey eyes and I can picture them clear as day. Her beauty was astonishing to me back then.  
Even that was taken away from her in death. I still remember the trembling of my knees and the bile in my throat at the sight of her bludgeoned body. _

They were so much more than just a 'tribute'. I knew what I was doing those days in the Capitol before the Games began; I was collecting information about my competition. I had told myself back then that it would help me know their weaknesses and tell me who to watch out for but I know now I was trying to see them for who they were, trying to see them as human beings. Remembering some of them hurts more than others of course...

_Harper Mirren, District 5. His name pierces my heart the most and his face haunts my mind almost constantly. I am the last person to have seen him alive, at least in person that is. It wasn't my fault! I know that now but it doesn't take it away from the fact that if I were not here now writing this, he could be alive in my place. But that is the nature of the Games , especially when it comes down to the final two – neither can live while the other survives. I guess I just wanted it more. I remember in training he looked after the young girl from his District and taught her how to wield the swords that she never should have had to pick up. He was kind and noble so obviously he had to die. _

Only despicable people like me win these Games. And that is yet another thing I constantly have to remind myself.

**Thank you so much for anyone who has read and reviewed thus far! It means a lot to me.  
I'll try and get more of these out soon :)  
Tell me what you thought in a review, it's much appreciated.  
And oh yes, I do not own The Hunger Games or Harry Potter obviously. (There is a quote from Harry Potter used here.) **


End file.
